This week I dusted out some of my The Firm videos in order to save them on DVD - most of them are currently on VHS.  I love these videos, because they are so different from the rest.

So, today I did not wish to do the exercycle of death again, so I decided to do 20 minutes of the Firm workouts.  I used firm parts the DVD that has the upper body and the standing legs workout.  I did pieces of each and completed my 20 minute exercise session of the morning.  Of course, now I am completely exhausted, but BOY WAS THAT A WORKOUT.

You might think that because I weigh 275 pounds I hate exercise.  I don't hate it, it's just very difficult.  But once I start working out I really like certain exercises.

Today I wasn't able to follow along 100 percent, but I did pretty good.  I also found out, while streching, that my thighs are huge.  I could not do that strech where you put one leg over the other and pull it close to you.  I could not put one leg over the other!  My thighs are too large.  I've never had that happen to me! It was scary.

Ok, so now it only takes me a few seconds to get from the up bed to the bathroom while it used to take me close to a minute to get up and steady myself because I hurt all over. I can also get up and down the stairs more easily and my knees do not hurt so much.

Inside, I am still a bit resentful that I have to diet to lose weight, why can't it just happen by magic.  It's idiotic to think that way, right?  but there are millions of people out there that do not have to worry about their weight.  They eat what they want, do what they want, and live their lives in peace.  I hate freaking cereal and fruit for breakfast.  I hate having to ride that stupid exercycle which by the way does NOT MAKE ME SWEAT at all.

Well, no one said this blog was supposed to be all happy and positive.. this is how I am feeling NOW!  I can do something positive for the readers.  I am NOT GIVING UP.  NO.. NOT EVER...  even if I am kranky and will continue to be so, I expect, for a couple of days - hopefully not weeks.

Ok so it was only 20 minutes, but for some reason some days those 20 minutes move slower than on other days. I prefer the exercycle to other workouts, but it's hard on my behind!

I feel a bit bloated today and like I am retaining fluids.  No it is not that time of the month and not near it either.  So maybe I am eating too much salt?  I do know I had olives with my salad last night.  The first few weeks on the diet I add corn and olives to the salads to make them more appealing.  Obviously corn is starch, equivalent to a potato or rice or pasta and olives are high in sodium, so they are no diet pals, but I allow myself that treat, otherwise this little stint would last 2 seconds. 

Actually, I don't know the answer to that, but I do know that I finally recognized the feeling I was having Saturday morning after Friday's dinner.  The bad part about it was that I recognized it because I felt it all too well this morning.  Last night I had a dinner with my aunts, and I had known about it for a few days.  There are days on the diet that are relatively easy because the food is all very good, but there are certain foods I do not like or are just not my thing like fruit salad or salad without any meat or bread in it.  Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays are such days and I recognize that I am weak on those days.

But the overwhelming dissapontment I felt today was terrible and that made me pause and think.  Am I expecting too much of myself? I wanted a near perfect week diet wise this week, but is that really realistic?  The one thing I can say I am truly proud of today is, that regardless of that awful feeling, I fixed my healthy breakfast, ate it and then exercised (I'm not loving breakfast lately but I did it... from past experience once I stop with the healthy breakfasts, the entire program goes to hell).