I was ready to burst with frustration, had only lost 11 /  12 pounds, and gone through 7 weeks of lettuce and apples and fruit salad.  I hate fruit salad, by the way.

So I took a week off,  I behaved for about 4 days then started binging.  The good part about that was that I would worry about regaining what little I lost before.  That's good because other times I've just wanted off the diet, without caring how much progress I had made.

Two good things came out of it.  I took a blood test and I found out my triglycerides had been cut almost in half!!! From 176 to 91.  Cholesterol has gone down about 30 points.. and I guess all the work paid off.  The other good thing was, I gained about 1.8 pounds on that week, but after starting low calorie on Friday May 15th, 2009 and 3 days passed, I lost 4.6 pounds!  Those are the kind of results I usually get with Low calorie weeks! 

Lately I've been yearning for more food, so I decided that instead of binging on a bunch of foods (or before doing it) I should go on that reentry week Dr. Miller suggests, sort of like a stepping stone towards normal eating.  Personally I call it maintenance.  the thing is, it has so many more starches, its a bit scary. 

I changed to those menus in an effort to not regain the 12.8 pounds that I've lost over the past 7 weeks.  I do not want to slide back, and this is supposed to be the way to do it.  But some days, like Sunday, when I had 2 cups of spaghetti (my dream come true) I could help but feel like I was cheating. 

I am starving!  and I am still tired, still achy..

How come after 6 weeks I am still tired, and I still need to sleep in the afternoons.

Ok, so I still weight 268 pounds, it is a LOT.. but adding 40 minutes of exercise and eating a whole bunch of fruits and vegetables,SHOULD, give me a bit of a boost.. shouldnt it?  where does it end..

I know its supposed to be a change of lifestyle and I should not be ranting and whining about it.   I just feel that the only thing that makes me happy has been taken away and I'm not even getting the supposed perks of eating better.  Why do it then?

I have lost 10.2 pounds in 6 weeks, I know, it is a reasonable amount of weight to lose in that kind of time period.  But I have been spoiled by the usual large weight loss that I have gotten with this weigh loss plan in the plan.

I've been trying to divide up my goal of 100 pounds into smaller ones... I have this BMI chart, and I'm too heavy to be in it .. so I thought my first goal could be to get into that chart, with a BMI of 40 I need to get tto 240 pounds, which means losing about 29.8 pounds.

That's a good first step isnt it?  I hope so.  Still, it took me a month and a half to lose 10 pounds.. will it take 4 and a half months for me to lose those 30 pounds.  That scares me, I am already getting fed up with this.